Trembling hands play my heart like a drum
by ElloDoctor
Summary: Vampire AU: "Did you really think I didn't want you?" Sebastian asked lowly, his mouth just inches from Kurt's and when Kurt didn't answer he moved closer, his lips moving against the skin of Kurt's cheek as he whispered. "Answer me." ONESHOT


**A/N **Background for the story: Kurt and Sebastian are attending Dalton Academy (a school for vampires and humans) and they are in a committed relationship. Although it isn't mentioned in the story, while writing this i sort of imagined that each human attending Dalton would have some sort of of silver jewlery on them (whether it's an anklet/bracelet etc.) which they can use if a vampire is out of control.

* * *

Kurt hummed idly to himself as he turned the corner, his heart thrumming in anticipation as he neared the door to Sebastian's room. He hadn't seen Seb in almost two days what with their school timetables being completely different and the Lacrosse team training for finals and during those two days, he had found himself missing the other boy with an intensity that surprised him. He shouldn't have been surprised really, Sebastian had told him that things got complicated in human/vampire relationships and one of those "compilations" was the bond between them, a bond that would only get stronger when Sebastian finally bit him.

Despite that they had been dating for almost two months, Sebastian still hadn't fed from Kurt; saying that he didn't want to ruin what they had by moving too fast. He'd said he'd seen too many pairings fall apart because they'd done things that neither was ready for and that he didn't want that to happen to them.

"I know I'm not very romantic," Sebastian had said, cupping Kurt's face tightly, while they were sitting under the large oak that stood in the centre of the Dalton grounds. "But I really care about you, probably more than I've ever cared about anyone and I want to do this right."

It was a far cry from what Sebastian had been like when Kurt had first met him. Sebastian had been the most arrogant vampire he had ever met and it had taken weeks for Kurt to even stand to be in the same room as him. It wasn't until Sebastian finally let his guard down and actually began to be himself that Kurt had begun to fall for him and fall _hard. _

Once Sebastian had kissed him gently in the choir room after Warblers practise, they had begun to date tentatively; going to movies, shopping in the tiny Westerville mall or simply lounging around Dalton talking for hours. And by their seventh date, Kurt had changed his relationship status on Facebook, Sebastian had switched from drinkers from donors to drinking from blood bags and things had been as close to perfect as they could get.

Kurt smiled as he remembered Sebastian's lips on his that first time. Seb had been remarkably sweet and completely unlike his usual self that day but all it took to break his composure was Kurt threading his fingers in the other boy's hair and unintentionally moaning Sebastian's name. Kurt blushed at the memory of Sebastian backing him up against the choir room wall and kissing him deeply, his fangs grazing Kurt's tongue lightly, the danger of it all making Kurt shiver with pleasure. Of course as soon as Kurt had done that, Sebastian had come to his senses and they'd sat down and decided to take things slow.

_Not for much longer,_ Kurt thought giddily as he placed his hand on the doorknob of Sebastian's room.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Sebastian's voice came through the door and Kurt paused, not wanting to interrupt anything.

"Umm," Sebastian continued, sounding thoughtful and Kurt realised he was on the phone. "Maybe two? I haven't done this in a while so I can't be sure…"

_What is he talking about?_ Kurt wondered silently, thinking maybe he should knock or something to alert Sebastian of his presence

"That much?" Sebastian spoke louder. "For two donors, really?"

Kurt froze; his heart pounding. Why would Sebastian be ordering donors? That wasn't what they agreed, Sebastian knew he was uncomfortable with him feeding on other people and Sebastian had been completely understanding and okay with it, or so Kurt had thought….

Kurt's stomach twisted uncomfortably at the thought of Sebastian wrapped around another boy, lips at his throat and no doubt, a look of pleasure on both Sebastian and the mystery boy's faces. It was well known that when a vampire fed from a human the endorphins that the vampire venom released into a human's bloodstream caused the human to experience a high similar to the feeling experienced after _sex_.

Kurt choked back tears at the thought of Sebastian cheating on him, because that's what it was really. Sebastian had obviously realised that Kurt wasn't good enough for him or maybe he'd known it all along, maybe he'd never been attracted to him in the first place and now he had resorted to donors to satisfy his needs. Kurt let out a small whimper without realising and the door was immediately opened to reveal a concerned looking Sebastian.

"Kurt?" he asked, his eyes raking over Kurt's form in confusion. "Babe, are you okay?"

"Wasn't I enough for you?" Kurt blurted out, trying to keep his voice strong. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What are you talking about?" Sebastian asked sounding worried and Kurt bit his lip to keep from yelling.

"What do you think I'm talking about?" he whispered. "You could have just told me that you didn't like me like that, you could have told me instead of ordering donors behind my back…"

"Kurt…" Sebastian sounded pained. "Just listen to me okay?"

"No you don't have to explain," Kurt shook his head, biting back tears. "I should have known I wasn't enough for you."

And before Sebastian could say anything else, Kurt turned and ran, not caring how ridiculous he looked; only concentrating on getting back to his room.

As Kurt neared his own door, two floors down from Sebastian's; he was thankful that he hadn't bothered to lock his door. He wrenched the door open half falling into his room, pulling the door closed behind him. He stood in the middle of his room for a moment, taking in all the little reminders of Sebastian in his room; the pictures of them on his corkboard, the oversized lacrosse jersey hanging off his desk chair and the paper coffee cup that still held the remainder of the coffee that Sebastian had picked him up that morning.

Kurt's whole body shook with the sobs that he was trying to hold in, tears tracking their way down his face and he felt the last ounce of composure he had disappear.

Releasing a strangled cry he fell onto his bed with his head pounding, not caring that he was in school uniform. He cried softly, cursing the bond as pain coursed through him, making him feel as if he was being ripped apart from the inside. He dug his nails into his palms, praying for the numbness he knew wouldn't come.

* * *

He didn't know when he had fallen asleep but when Kurt blearily came to consciousness it was obvious he had only been asleep for a few hours due to the fading light that Kurt could see through the blinds of the window opposite his bed. With his eyes still heavy with exhaustion it took Kurt a few seconds to find what had awakened him.

A cool body was pressed against his own and a hand was gently stroking his hair, Kurt exhaled softly. He instantly knew it was Sebastian not only from the temperature of his skin but also from the scent of sandalwood that always seemed to cling to Sebastian's skin.

"Mmm… 'Bastian…" Kurt murmured, burrowing his head deeper into the crook of Sebastian's arm but as Sebastian's arms tightened around him, the memory of what had happened hours before came to the forefront of his mind and Kurt sat bolt upright in his bed, tears clinging to his eyelashes.

"Get out," he croaked, not looking at the vampire who was still lying frozen on the bed beside him.

"No," Sebastian said gently, sitting up so he was looking Kurt in the eye. "Not until you let me explain."

"What's there to explain?" Kurt cleared his throat. "You were ordering donors…"

He hated how pitiful and weak he sounded, he wanted to be able to yell and scream at Sebastian but he could manage was a soft sniff as he tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape.

"Oh Kurt," Sebastian said and Kurt's heart twisted at the tenderness in his voice. "I wasn't ordering donors-"

"I heard you!" Kurt interrupted his voice cracking. "Don't lie to me; you're only making it worse."

Kurt couldn't believe that Sebastian was lying to him but he had always known that Sebastian was too good for him and a part of him had always believed that despite how much Kurt lov-_liked _him, it was all too good to last, too much of a good dream to be real.

"Let me finish will you?" Sebastian grabbed Kurt's chin and forced Kurt to look up at him. Despite the forceful gesture, Sebastian's touch was gentle and his were pleading. "I did order those donors."

Kurt opened his mouth and tried to twist his face from Sebastian's iron grip.

"But," Sebastian continued, holding Kurt's gaze. "They were for Thad, Gwen broke up with him."

"What?" Kurt asked, taken aback.

"I wasn't ordering the donors for me," Sebastian's expression lightened into something close to amusement and Kurt felt relief course through him. "They were girl donors anyway, what am I going to do with those?"

"Oh Sebastian I'm so sorry!" Kurt's eyes widened as he realised what this meant. "It's not that I don't trust you, I really do. I just got jealous and I thought maybe you didn't like me. Please don't break up with me and oh I'm really really s-"

"Woah," Sebastian held a finger up to Kurt's lips. "Break up with you? Are you kidding, I should be apologising."

"Why would you need to apologise?" Kurt asked, clasping his hands fretfully.

"Because I didn't tell you I was getting girls for Thad and I should have done that right away," Sebastian took a deep breath. "That must have been horrible for you, I'm so sorry…"

"Please don't apologise," Kurt leaned into Sebastian's hand that was caressing his face. "It's just making me feel worse."

Something darkened in Sebastian's expression and Kurt stared back confused. Before he could react, Sebastian had Kurt pressed down against the mattress, with Sebastian hovering gently over him, hands planted at either side of his head.

"Seb?" Kurt questioned, trying hard not to tremble under the intense gaze of the taller vampire.

"Did you really think I didn't want you?" Sebastian asked lowly, his mouth just inches from Kurt's and when Kurt didn't answer he moved closer, his lips moving against the skin of Kurt's cheek as he whispered. "Answer me."

"Yes," Kurt whispered back, trying to calm the thrill of anticipation at having Sebastian so close. Sebastian moved his mouth to Kurt's jaw, just breathing over the skin and Kurt felt his heart beat quicken.

"How could you think that?" Sebastian growled quietly against Kurt's skin. "I always want you Kurt, _always_."

Kurt held back at moan at Sebastian's words and he tried to focus on the ceiling instead of Sebastian's face.

"No," Sebastian warned and Kurt moved his eyes down to meet his. "I want to hear you."

Kurt swallowed loudly as Sebastian lifted his head, before placing a soft open mouthed kiss on the underside of Kurt's chin before sucking gently.

This time Kurt couldn't withhold the moan that rippled through him and Sebastian hummed in approval.

"So beautiful," he murmured and Kurt felt himself blush deeply. "Most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"You don't mean that," Kurt said, gasping slightly as Sebastian trailed his mouth up and down his neck, sucking lightly.

"I do," Sebastian paused and his voice turned an octave lower. "I have never wanted anyone like I want you, Kurt. Never."

Kurt felt himself sink into their mattress even further, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Then show me," he suggested breathily. "Bite me."

Sebastian inhaled sharply and his whole body tensed.

"Are you sure?" he asked, sitting up so he was straddling Kurt. "Are you sure you're ready?"

"I am," Kurt whispered, reaching out to touch Sebastian's face with his fingertips. "I'm sure."

"You don't need to claim me Kurt," Sebastian still looked unconvinced. "I'm already yours."

The words made Kurt's heart contract and any doubts Kurt could have had were washed away.

"And I'm yours," he whispered, hoping that Sebastian couldn't see the tears he could feel forming in his eyes. "Bite me, please."

Sebastian smiled gently and Kurt seeing the glint of his fangs, shivered.

"It's going to hurt a little at first," Sebastian warned. "But that should go away pretty quickly okay?"

"Okay," Kurt repeated, unable to look away from Sebastian's mouth.

Sebastian smiled once more before shifting a little so that his weight was pressed more heavily against Kurt. He leaned his head back down so that his mouth was again at Kurt's neck. He began to pepper kisses at the base of Kurt's neck and Kurt shivered at the feeling of Sebastian's fangs grazing his skin. Sebastian began to suck, his tongue moving tantalisingly slow and Kurt released a low moan and curled his hands in Sebastian's hair.

"Sebastian," he whined, tugging lightly.

Sebastian groaned into Kurt's neck, the vibration making Kurt tighten his grip in Sebastian's hair.

"Please…" Kurt whispered and Sebastian grazed his fangs once again across Kurt's neck.

"Please," Kurt murmured again more urgently this time. "Please, please, please."

And with one final lick at Kurt's skin, Sebastian bit into Kurt, his teeth sliding through the skin like a knife through butter.

Kurt's eyes widened at the jolt of pain that ran though him. It felt like someone had turned his blood icy cold and that he was freezing from the inside. He opened his mouth to cry out when-

_Oh_.

Slow warmth seemed to pass over him as Sebastian began to drink from him, the strange sensation of his blood being taken away from him overpowered by the feeling of pure joy that seemed to take a hold of him. His hands seemed to move of their own accord, grasping at Sebastian's neck and pulling him more tightly against his own neck. He felt lost and found at the same time as Sebastian drank from him, his head reeling from the sensation that everything was right in the world, that nothing could be wrong when something felt this good.

The feeling of having Sebastian pressed against him was amplified and Kurt wanted to stay in Sebastian's arms forever. Without even thinking about it, Kurt removed his hands from Sebastian's neck and down to his hips where he gripped them tightly, forcing Sebastian to press tighter to Kurt.

Sebastian's deep groan sent shockwaves through Kurt's neck and he exhaled dizzily.

"Sebastian…" he moaned, titling his head back so that Sebastian could gain better access as he began to feel inexplicably tired.

As his eyelids began to droop, Kurt didn't even realise at first that Sebastian had stopped feeding and was licking his neck gently, the tiny puncture wounds healing up almost immediately.

"Hey…" Kurt slurred, grabbing Sebastian's face and pulling it up to look at him. "Don't stop…"

Sebastian had on an expression of complete satisfaction and he smiled at Kurt tenderly.

"I think that's enough, babe," he said rolling off Kurt. "If I take anymore, it could be dangerous."

Kurt considered arguing for a moment but the intense feeling of happiness he had been feeling only a moment ago had morphed into sleepy contentment, making his eyelids feel heavier and heavier by the second.

"Okay…" He mumbled, turning over and smiling when Sebastian wrapped his arms around him tightly from behind. "Thank you 'Bastian…"

"Thank _you_," Sebastian pressed a kiss to the back of Kurt's head.

Kurt smiled and with his last bit of strength, reached for the vampire's hand and squeezed it. "You're welcome."

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this, i honestly don't know what goes on inside my head sometimes...! :P


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